im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
