I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
