His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
