Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize