went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize