Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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