They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
