just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
