When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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