Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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