Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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