seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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