..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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