Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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