careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
as a side note pls kill me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
