just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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