Sorry, I don't speak sober.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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