god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
