Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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