$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
