Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
