Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize