Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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