You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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