You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
