he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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