can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I fill condoms, not promises.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
