The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
