I am spending my child support on dildos
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
