If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Found your dick twin last night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
