Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize