ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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