if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
