you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
