Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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