The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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