the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
