I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
