Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize