Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
