What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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