the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize