I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
