he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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