I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
