I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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