it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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