with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
