New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
