Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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