Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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