well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
