you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
