U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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