nut hugger
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
