You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
