Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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