I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This is the high leading the old right now
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
